Have you ever used all but the last square of toilet paper and thought, "I gotta get another roll from the closet"...only to forget by the time you're done washing your hands...and remember only after you've sat down the next time? Me two.
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I was talking to a kid about pet peeves; when I said, "I hate wet pant legs", he responded very matter of factly, "Yeah, I don't like peeing my pants either." Perhaps I wasn't clear enough...
Have you ever jumped awake from a nightmare in the middle of class...on a day you're learning about narcolepsy? Em.bare.uh.sing. and eye.ron.ick.
I lose things all the time, so here's a tip: If you ever think, "I wouldn't be dumb enough to put it there", that should be the first place you look. That's how I found my car keys on a shelf in my closet.
Today I was running a little late to get to clinical and I didn't leave enough time to eat, so I hurried up and grabbed some food for the car. What did I grab? Clementines. Clementines for the car ride. I might as well have brought an uncut watermelon. Way to think ahead, Kate.
When I was younger, I thought that movies changed each time I saw them because there were parts I had forgotten about.
(I'm ashamed to admit that the thought still crosses my mind sometimes.) I once had a regular patient in a long term residential facility. I came in on her birthday and she was all dolled up--she was showered, in nice clothes, and the nurses had painted her fingernails. My insensitive response was: "You look great! All dressed up with nowhere to go, right?" It was one of those many moments when my brain was saying, "Shut up shut up shut up", yet my mouth kept blabbing on.
During my first weekend at my new apartment (aka roughly 6 months ago), I ran the dishwasher to clean all the exciting new tupperware I had bought. How could I screw this up? Yes, the tupperware is dishwasher safe...until said tupperware falls through the bottom dish rack (whose holes are appropriately sized to hold plates and bowls, but not tiny lids) and onto the heating coils below. Yum, burnt plastic clean enough to eat from! But seriously, the resulting stench could curl even the shortest of nose hairs. And it has real staying power, too. That first weekend I lost three lids, but gained: a week of headaches, 7ish spiders from airing the place out, pretty-permanent reddish-pink decoration on the floor of my dishwasher, and an important lesson.
In 3rd grade, I wrote a book called Stinkalina..with very telling hand-drawn photos. The last line reads, "She almost lived happily ever after." This was the one assignment I never ran past my mother...it was showcased with all the other 3rd grader books for parent-teacher conferences.
Here's a photo, as requested, but a snapshot of the inside of the book wouldn't do it justice: I do a clinical where parents bring in their kids and learn parenting skills. I was told last week that today 20/20 would be doing a special on this program. Guess who forgot about this news special and wore no makeup, grey pants, black under armor, a red tshirt, bright white tennis shoes, and arrived fresh outta the shower so my hair would have maximum expansion and minimum style? Yes, yours truly. I embody professionalism at its finest.
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