52. When driving in severe weather conditions (i.e. snow or heavy rain), slow down. If you still can't see, stop somewhere.
53. If hydroplaning, do not slam on the breaks or jerk the steering wheel. Take your feet off both pedals, while (smoothly) steering accordingly. 53b. Same concept for sliding on ice. In this situation, turn your wheels (smoothly) in the direction the back of your car is going. 54. Check your blind spots...I mean really check them. Turn your head like an owl and refocus your eyes, briefly glancing back before looking straight ahead again. Twitching your head will not suffice, and staring's excessive. 55. In the highway system, odd numbers run N-S and even numbers run E-W. 56. Just because two highway numbers appear similar (i.e. 40-W & 440-W) or are close numbers (i.e. I-70 & I-71) doesn't mean they go to the same places. 57. While driving, avoid: texting, reading a book, putting in contacts, shaving, painting your fingernails, and any other activities that demand your visual and tactile attention. 58. Do NOT smoke at a gas station. I shouldn't even have to say this. 59. If you see a car pulled over, switch lanes if possible (to get farther, not closer to this vehicle). 60. The game "chicken" is best played in the pool, not in cars.
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45. When merging, time your merger appropriately. When the nearest car is a mile behind you, don't wait until that car is less than 15 feet behind you to merge.
46. When you see a sign that tells you your lane is ending in a mile (or less), merge. Don't be a butthead. 47. Be aware that some parking lots are One Way. Hint: there are almost always arrows to guide you. 48. Be careful when driving while wearing flip flops. 49. When driving with windows down, make sure your papers are weighted down. Driving's no time to play catch. 50. Driving's also no time to play, "Look Ma, no hands!" 51. When pulling out in front of an oncoming car, make sure you plan on going the same speed or faster than this car. [This tip also applies to walking.] 51b. Do not pull out in front of a car just to stop and turn into somewhere else. People who do this deserve to be rear ended, in my opinion. [This tip also applies to walking and 'rear ended' can be substituted for 'punched' or 'trampled'.] 33. It is illegal to change lanes in an intersection.
34. It is also illegal to listen to headphones while driving. 35. Although entertaining, it is not safe to tailgate a minivan so you can watch the Spongebob movie they have playing for their kids. 36. When driving on any road, it is important to acknowledge that there are other drivers around you. 37. It's not a good idea to run a stop light, even if there's no one around. Those cameras are capable of ticketing you. 38. Blinkers can be turned off after you turn. 39. Blinkers do not need to be turned on a mile in advance. 40. Road rage doesn't do anyone any good. 41. Weaving does not make driving prettier. 42. When towing a trailer, boat, or anything else, make sure you've hooked up the brake lights. 43. Parallel parking should not employ the touch-tone method. 44. Although (shockingly) not yet illegal, special care should be taken when driving with a pet in your lap...especially a pet larger than a Chihuahua. 26. The horrendous sound your car makes when you drive it without a muffler is neither cool nor legal.
27. When you drive up a hill, adjust your speed accordingly. Hint: you need to apply more pressure to the gas pedal to maintain the 5mph over the speed limit I hope you've been driving. 28. Be careful when keeping your sun roof open- on long car rides you run the risk of sun burn..this sun burn WILL look super dumb. 29. I watched a girl tweeze her eyebrows while driving yesterday. This is NOT safe. 30. It will not harm your car to take turns faster than 5mph. 31. If you're a pedestrian not crossing in a crosswalk, please wait til traffic dies down- cars should not feel pressured to slow down or even stop to avoid making you a hood ornament. 32. When transporting items, make absolutely sure they are fastened securely, whether they're in the bed of your truck or hanging out an open trunk. 21. When merging onto a highway, speed up. Highway traffic will NOT slow down to let you in at 40 mph.
22. It is not only acceptable, but encouraged to break the 3 second rule in traffic. When doing this, you must remain vigilant of brake lights in front of you. 23. Do NOT smoke at gas stations. 24. "Don't drink and drive" does NOT allow for drinking at stop lights. 25. You may drive to all sorts of weird places, but La La Land should not be one of them. There's nothing more aggravating than terrible drivers. Am I right or am I right? Let's face it, there are some pretty clueless (or downright terrible) drivers out there. Are you one of them? I'm not claiming to be a great driver or anything, and I don't like to brag, but I will say that I'm known as "THE backseat driver" in some circles (and some will even go so far as to designate me the driver).
Anyways, I figure that everyone's looking for driving tips, whether they admit to it or not, and I'm always willing to share my tips, so it makes sense for me to provide an interweb list for those who aren't fortunate enough to have me in the backseat whispering said tips in their ear. So, whether you've been driving for a few days or a few decades, I hope the following tips will help make life's 'ups and downs' go a little more smoothly. 1. The fast lane is the one on the left. 2. If you're in the fast lane and are getting passed by cars in the slow lanes (middle and right lanes), get out of the fast lane (ASASAP: as soon and safely as possible). 3. If there are only two lanes and you're going the same speed as the car next to you, you are effectively a moving road block to all faster cars. Whether you speed up or slow down, you need to move over (this especially applies if you're in the left lane). 4. Use a blinker in traffic. 5. There's no need to keep your blinker on for miles after you've turned. 6. A moon roof's purpose is not so you can stargaze while driving. 7. Don't constantly drive your car on empty; I don't know all the specifics, but it's bad (I think it causes something to overheat...the point is, your gas gauge should not go up when you turn your car off). 8. Defrost your windows BEFORE leaving. 8b. Do not try to defrost your windows by pouring water on them. 9. Beeping your horn in traffic does not speed traffic up. 10. Aim to leave about a 3 second gap between you and the car you're tailgating. 10b. Conversely, a 3 minute gap is not necessary...especially in traffic (I'm convinced there would be no traffic if everyone was a good driver). 11. Chances are that if you see a cop, he's probably already seen you, so there's no need to slam on your brakes. 12. I venture to say that it's almost as unsafe to drive under the speed limit than over. Nothing promotes road rage like going 10mph or more under the speed limit. 13. The SPEED BUMPS sign is not a challenge. 14. Recognize the difference in meaning between a YIELD sign and a STOP sign. 15. ONE WAY is not merely a suggestion. 16. Even if you're scared, it's not safe to close your eyes while driving over a bridge. 17. GIVE A THANK YOU WAVE WHEN SOMEONE LETS YOU IN! I can't believe it took me until #17 to think of this one since it's my #1 driving pet peeve. 18. It's a good idea to keep jumper cables in your trunk. Learning how to use these is also helpful. 19. If you pick your nose while driving, chances are good that someone will see you. 20. Brush up on the rules of 'Right of way'. |