Okay, so I just turned on the radio in my bedroom and walked ten feet, putting me in my living room. I listened to the last 60 seconds of Killing Me Softly when there was an abrupt transition to (I've Had) The Time of My Life -- the song from Dirty Dancing. This song scared the bejeezus out of me; if you're not familiar with the song, it starts with a deep voice. Like an idiot, I screamed because my immediate thought was, "OMG there's a man in my bedroom!" How dumb could I be? Firstly, I've been locked in my apartment for hours in silence working on a paper--when could I have missed a break in? Secondly, how much harm would a guy who spontaneously busts out a romantic song pose? I'll take this as a sign that I shouldn't be working so hard...
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It's been one of those days. One of those days where more time is spent frolicking in La La Land than acknowledging reality. Just a few examples:
I literally spent 20 minutes brushing my teeth because I was multitasking. (For those of you who know I already take longer to brush, I'm usually done by 5 mins--10 tops.) I was daydreaming while driving and missed my exit. I wasn't paying attention when putting my laundry in the bottom of 2 stacked dryers..and turned on the top one. I didn't realize this, however, until I went to pick up my still wet clothes an hour later. Unfortunately, quarters are pretty hard to come by in my apt., so I had to dry all my clothes on my balcony. But it turned out kinda fun, because now all my clothes are as stiff as cardboard so I feel like one of those paper dolls I used to play with. In the middle of cooking dinner, I made myself something else to eat, forgetting I was already in the middle of cooking. I played in my sand volleyball league and daydreamed quite a few points away. It's amazing how quickly the whistle to serve the ball turns into just another background noise and how alarming it can be when you finally realize you're in the middle of a volley you don't remember starting. The worst part of all? I took my medication today. Walmart has earned itself quite a reputation for being accepting of all types of people. It is this special quality of Walmart's that makes it the only place I can go shopping in my bathing suit and not feel out of place or ashamed.
This happened during my first week of Grad School classes. The first time I met one of my teachers, she was walking around the room introducing herself to students before class started. For some reason, I voluntarily admitted, "I haven't done any of the readings for any of my classes yet. It's the first week and I'm already behind- whoops!"...and then I laughed..and also admitted that yes, I had all the books and I knew I had readings. Honesty may be the best policy, but sometimes I need to remind myself that it's not the only policy..
I used to jump off furniture holding a bath towel over my head, thinking that I would be able to float down slowly like Mary Poppins. Perhaps this dream ended in one too many bumps to the head...
The day started and ended fearfully...
I went in to the gas station a few mornings ago to get some free coffee (a promo they have sadly ended). I was putting my 6 sugars in when a girl who worked there started talking to me. After a few minutes she pointed down to my leg. Why, you ask? Because there was a spider just about to disappear up my shorts! I very calmly screamed bloody murder and did an embarrassingly endearing little jig to get it off and spent the next few minutes gracefully twitching. That night, after a spectacularly boring day of class, a few friends and I went downtown to hear some music. Everything was going smoothly until the girl behind me dropped her menu. When I bent down to pick it up, she introduced herself, said that I was really cute, and groped me. I would have loved to have seen my face- was it appalled, frightened, shocked, or awkward? Who knows- all those feelings were there, I just don't know which one won over my facial muscles. What can I say? I'm a chick magnet. Have you ever used all but the last square of toilet paper and thought, "I gotta get another roll from the closet"...only to forget by the time you're done washing your hands...and remember only after you've sat down the next time? Me two.
I was talking to a kid about pet peeves; when I said, "I hate wet pant legs", he responded very matter of factly, "Yeah, I don't like peeing my pants either." Perhaps I wasn't clear enough...
Have you ever jumped awake from a nightmare in the middle of class...on a day you're learning about narcolepsy? Em.bare.uh.sing. and eye.ron.ick.
I lose things all the time, so here's a tip: If you ever think, "I wouldn't be dumb enough to put it there", that should be the first place you look. That's how I found my car keys on a shelf in my closet.
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