For being so young, I've been told I'm pretty wise. Okay, not exactly in those words, but I think "smartass" can sometimes be synonymous with "wise", right? Anyways, here are my cooking tips for you:
1. Buy frozen meals whenever possible.
2. When cutting onions, wear swimming goggles to keep from crying.
3. Do NOT rub your eyes after cutting onions.
4. Don't say, "EVOO"; it makes you sound really annoying.
5. Cut your fingernails prior to grating cheese.
6. Don't start out assuming you can cut veggies as fast as the chefs on tv. If you've already made this mistake, or still plan on trying, stock up your first aid kit and have extra veggies available for someone else to take over.
7. Invest in a strainer- boiling water will, in fact, penetrate an oven mitt.
8. When baking things for long periods of time, set a timer- don't count on yourself to remember in three hours (or even just 20 mins) that you're cooking something.
9. Keep a folder or piece of cardboard handy to waft fresh air into the smoke alarm, tricking it into thinking you're a good cook.
10. Don't be afraid to ask for help: the more people to help, the more people you have to blame when it tastes terrible.
10b. If it actually tastes good, make sure to take credit when your helper chefs are out of earshot.
11. When having guests over, light some sugar cookie scented candles a few hours in advance so they'll think you baked cookies instead of bought them.
12. Know how to handle a grease fire in advance (tips: DO NOT pour water on it!!; smother it with a pan lid; pour tons of baking soda on it; use a dry chemical fire extinguisher; evacuate; call 911; stop, drop, and roll; etc.)
13. When using a blender, make absolutely sure the top is securely fastened.
14. Don't substitute salt for sugar just because they look alike.
15. Similarly, don't substitute baking soda (without compensating) for baking powder just because they sound alike.
16. I don't care what the expiration date says, if there are chunks in your milk, throw it out immediately.
17. It is NOT normal for an electric stovetop to be accompanied by fire.
18. Order does matter in recipes.
19. Do NOT microwave food covered in aluminum foil.
20. Do NOT heat food covered in saran wrap in the oven.
Ello dear,
Well, this page is one of my favorites. I always enjoy getting baking/cooking tips from my lovely sister who is probably the single worst cook out there. But, nevertheless i did enjoy reading this and i can actually say that i did learn some things and may admit to having a few laughs. I especially liked 5, 8-tip: don't set too many buzzers if cooking more than one thing because it WILL confuse you like it does to our poor little mommy, 9, 10, and 14.
Reply
Kate
3/2/2012 11:21:09 am
Valid point on the Tip 8 addendum. I'm glad you enjoyed these- making you smile is my one greatest achievement in life.
Reply
Leave a Reply.
Everyone should learn how to cook. Luckily, I'm here to help.