My morning at the male jail. Remember when I said I was suuuper comfortable with this population? I take it back..kinda. I'm still comfortable with the medical/mental health aspect of it, but getting there is the uncomfortable part. I swear they put the mental health office at the total opposite end of this jail.
Using a zoo metaphor, I was a rare specie of lioness- awesome, powerful, majestic, hairy (I hadn't shaved my legs that morning), yet bred in captivity- unfamiliar with the wild world my onlookers are so familiar with. Is that a weird enough metaphor? Yes, I think it is. But I presume you get the point. The hallway was pretty wide with every few feet presenting 30 foot long windows into the pods. When I left, walking past one end of the first window, I saw people pointing at me (I think I'll think twice the next time I point to those poor, innocent zoo animals). I didn't look up again until I had reached the other end of the window--when I glanced up, there was a row of orange jumpsuits across the whole window (it would've made for a pretty funny picture, actually). After this, my shoes became more and more interesting with every step. But who could blame them, really, with such a stone cold fox walking past? ...Stop laughing... But seriously, I'd probably react the same way out of curiosity and boredom...with the exception of my facial expression.
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Good morning! Did you miss me? Of course not...you have to read this to miss it...(don't worry, this was not written bitterly).
Anywho, Happy 129 days left of school to me! One more month of complete and utter hell, then I start summer semester, which should be easy peasy lemon squeezy...hopefully. I have worked my butt off to make sure that this summer is a chill one (not 'chill' in the cold sense, of course, since it'll be pretty toasty here), so I'm going to be suuuper disappointed if it sucks. That means that my 40 hour clinical work weeks + schoolwork would have all been for nothing. But at the very least, I have some awesome things to look forward to this year: - I get to go home in 7 days for my Easter break. And even though I have a paper due on Easter Monday, it's going to be a fantastic break. I can feel it. - The week after that I get to see Savannah Jack play at one of the local bars- Yay! - At the end of April I get 5 whole days off! - May starts off a little rough with 5 days of block (ugh), and I have nothing in particular planned, but I can foresee some bike riding, pool sitting, and reading (not textbooks). - June gets a little busy with my Great Grandpa's birthday (!!) and the day after, I fly to Florida for one of my best friend's wedding! - July I also have nothing special planned, but perhaps Liz and T will visit at some point- and I hear there are some pretty awesome places for fireworks around here, so I'll be checking that out! - And in August I finish school and a week later will be fishing in Canada! As Carson says, "Wow. Just wow." Sidenote: If you haven't yet read the Hunger Games, I definitely suggest it. Even if you hate reading. I've read the first one, thanks to Adrienne, and am sharing the second one with Melissa. I can't wait to pick it up tonight since it's been her turn for the past few days! I imagine this is what divorce feels like when kids are involved- constantly on my mind, itching for my turn, and when it is (finally) my turn, I want to make the most of our time together. I'm blessed not to have had to experience real (parental) divorce- I can imagine how anxious both of my parents would be to get as much time with me as possible...or something like that. Alrighty, I have spent enough time jotting these notes and fantasizing about how great my summer will be..unfortunately, I've only been putting off finishing my research paper. If you've never written a research critique, I must share that it could possibly be the most painfully boring paper you could ever write...ever. Unless, of course, inferential stats and variable operationalization tickle your fancy. Post sidenote: I'll have to update you on my clinical later. I spent a morning on the male side of the jail this week...Don't worry, it'll be a short update when I get around to it. I have no real updates on events, so I will fill this space with useless mutterings.
The Voice: 1. What is on Christina's head? 2. Where is the rest of Christina's dress? 3. Why can't I stop laughing when I see Cee Lo with that ridiculous excuse of a cat? 4. I like Adam's sarcasm-especially when he outwits Christina and makes her look dumb..er. 5. My goodness, Blake Shelton's attractive. Bugs: 1. I hate them. 2. What is it about spiders that can have me crying, whining, and screaming within seconds? 3. Remind me again why mosquitoes aren't yet extinct. 4. Centipedes and George Lopez share two qualities: they're both repulsive and neither make me want to laugh. 5. Why is it that I get distracted while driving, but when I see a fly I can't take my eyes off it? Facebook: 1. It is excessive when you update your status more than 3 times in an hour..and that's being generous. 2. If your life is as miserable as a few of you post, I am professionally suggesting therapy. 3. When posting inspirational quotes, try not to make it something blatantly hypocritical. 4. Stop inviting me to join things. 5. Please review grammar before posting. Work Ethic: 1. If pissing away time was an Olympic event, I'd have quite a few gold medals. 2. If procrastination was a bad thing, it wouldn't begin with 'pro'. 3. Just remember, all work and no play makes _____ a dull boy/girl. Work hard, play harder. 4. Stopping to smell the roses and getting distracted by butterflies should not be confused with laziness. 5. There is no 'me' in team. Wait... Pet Peeves: 1. Chomping gum. 2. Hipsters. 3. Wet socks. 4. Chipping nails. 5. Super long fingernails on men or toenails on anyone. Awesome Things: 1. Getting mail/packages. 2. Waking up to birds chirping (crows are not considered birds). 3. Winning anything. 4. Wearing pretty socks. 5. Laughing til you cry. Firstly, I must note that I've celebrated yet another St. Patty's Day without green beer. I did, however, spend it dancing in a bar with two of my friends. Me? Dancing? Yes. I didn't say I didn't have ANY beer...
Anyways, let's talk for a moment about today's dance culture. You have pop n lock'ers, grinders, legit smooth dancers, and me (though I'm sure some of you would argue and put me in the 'legit smooth dancers' class..). I feel that I've created a new form of dancing that I can only hope will catch on--and judging by the amount of people who were stealing my moves on St. Patty's Day, I'd say that's not a crazy dream. My revolutionary dance style mixes music + weight lifting for a super aerobic dance sesh. Featured dance moves include: shoulder extensions, modified triceps pushdown, medium high kicks, and bicep curls while lunging (this last combo move is a crowd favorite). The first few times you try my new WeightKate EgoInflate DanceGreat (WED) moves, be sure to stretch and take the next day off work--those lunges can really get you to feel the burn. Another point: Do you know the best way to make room when people are crowdin' ya on the dance floor? Krumping. I've become quite skilled in the art of krumping. If you're not yet familiar with this term, it's a free form dance where pretty much anything goes, but for me it looks like a ramped up charleston in the legs and Elaine in the arms (YouTube 'community krumping' to get a visual). And in case you were wondering, people were annoyed, but no one was hurt in the process of my krump. Perhaps one day my dancing will be associated with hits like Hit Me With Your Best Shot or Black or White...but for now, we'll just have to weight. Let's talk about school. Let me first mention how important education is. That being said, school sucks. It's not difficult for teachers to jazz class up a bit; don't get me wrong, I know teachers are not required to be entertainers, but they also shouldn't function as talking sedatives.
I do, however, have to acknowledge a great class I had yesterday--we watched clips of The Breakfast Club and Harry Potter. Now that's how you get people's attention! Youtube videos, movie clips, full length movies, jokes, skits that don't completely suck, etc are excellent options for engaging a class. Inserting sound clips into power points--especially with a dull lecturer--does not promote concentration, even though it is effective in waking students up and embarrassing them when they jump out of their chair. Another complaint: this is applicable to both teachers and movie makers. Update or remake videos, pleease! I cannot tell you how many movies I have had to watch--both in undergraduate and graduate classes--that are straight out of the 80s. I'm talking teased, hairsprayed hair, shoulder pads, huge glasses, mustaches, faded jeans, and psychedelically patterned outfits all wrapped up in a fuzzy, lined video with poor sound quality and a distinct buzzing that never goes away. I heard one of the oldest, classic-est pickup lines the other day.
Guy: "How you doin?" Me: "Good, how are you?" Guy: "Good, now dat I seen you." It's not a long line, or a fancy one, but it's a line nonetheless. Be still my heart. Kidding- my heart couldn't have been more unruffled if it had stopped. I very much hope that the majority of pickup lines are used not to sound smooth, but to get a laugh. At least, that's what I did to this guy. I turned around and laughed...and judging by the fact that his expression did not change from a creepy half grin (I think he was going for 'seductive'...I guess you can't win 'em all), I'm guessing laughter was not what he was going for. And there's nothing like a creepy smirk and an icy cold stare that can catch the laughter in your throat and throw your feet into motion. I wonder how many people are out there using pickup lines seriously. Also, who are the people responding to these smoothsayers? Although, it could be the case that I'm in the minority, thinking that lines are meant to be laughed at...perhaps that's why I'm single. C'est la vie. Okie dokie. I started a new clinical today- at a jail. It.was.great. I don't know what it is about felons, but I love working with them. The day, however, didn't start without its glitches. I left my apartment a little early--you know, leaving extra time for inevitably getting lost. And I did. But it wasn't my fault- the GPS only took me to the main road and from there I had paper directions that said: "It's the first gray building, NOT the second one on the right." Brilliant directions when you drive through very winding side roads and are surrounded by literally a bazillion buildings in varying shades of gray- none with easily visible signs and all with barbed wire fences- and arranged in a way that was difficult to figure out which one was 1st, 2nd, 3rd...
Somehow, I found the right parking lot. I rolled in listening to Johnny Cash's 'Wanted Man' and took it as a sign that I was in the right place. With a gray building on my left and one on my right, I parked. I parked right next to a Chevy truck with a sticker of a glock on the back passenger's window and a skull on the dashboard. A life size replica (I hope) of a human skull. Awesome. Anywho, like the directions said, I picked the building on the left and was met by a very unhappy prison receptionist who pointed me to the other building. When I asked where the entrance was, she replied huffily, "It's on the side of the building, just walk over there." Perfect. 8:30AM and apparently her morning already sucked. So I wandered to the other building. I knew I was in the right place when I said "Good morning" to people outside and their response was to look me up and down. Un.come.fur.tab.bull. Luckily, the rest of the day went much more smoothly (and notably boring): saw some patients, prescribed some meds, visited some cells, etc. etc. Side note: I'm becoming quite adept at making bread- blueberry this time. Guess what I just found out? I can make a mean loaf of zucchini bread. (For all you punny readers, don't worry- I was able to squash all the ridicule my mean bread sent my way.) Anywho, what's that I'm hearing? You don't care? Well, I don't see why you would. It's not like I'm making any bread and mailing it to you, I just thought I'd share my accomplishment. I'm pretty sure it will now take two hands to count all the edible things I can cook! Oh, and I'll now answer to the nickname "Chef Kate", should you so please.
Onto more exciting news...okay, I got nothing. I spent the day doing homework, watching Harry Potter, and cooking. Oh yeah- and I mailed some letters. Jealous yet? I thought so. It's only natural that you should envy me and all that I have: I have more homework than you, more cooking inexperience, more spiders in my apartment, more inattention, more time wasted, and more debt. I'm sure there are things I could add to this list, but I don't want to blow you away all at once. So...this is awkward. I have nothing else to say. An inelegant conclusion to a boring post- don't pretend to be surprised. Who devised the genius plan of paying a penny a thought? Well, here are my thoughts on the topic (free of charge):
1. Would people still do their jobs if they were getting paid to sit at home and think? 2. Would the world experience inflation or deflation? 3. Who would be in charge of counting the thoughts? 4. Would you only get paid for original thoughts? 5. Would you only get paid for good thoughts? 5b. Who would judge the quality of the thought? 5c. Would you get paid more for really good thoughts? 6. Would this change the meaning of "nickel and dimed"? 7. Would you be charged a fee if you never had any thoughts to contribute? 8. Who would be rich and dumb enough to pay people by the thought? 9. Would we be forced to start making pennies out of cheaper materials? 10. How does payment work for people with multiple personality disorder? 11. Would you be shortchanged if your thought doesn't quite make cents? 12. Would we stop treating ADHD and OCD because they'd be making more money? |