Every day and every experience is a chance to learn something. Whether we're learning things that work, things to avoid, things to tweak, etc., every day holds lessons--new or not-- if you take the time to think. I've recently learned a few things that I've, lucky for you, come willing to share. Don't ever put up with anyone who makes you feel like you're not worth their time. Unfortunately, this is a mistake I make repeatedly. There are a lot of variables involved with these types of situations, but the bottom line is simple reciprocity and dedication of friendship. If you find yourself bending over backwards to make a relationship work and the other person puts in zero effort, you deserve better. I've had a problem with undedicated friends since childhood, but I've made a lot of progress here since I learned how to respect myself. Once you realize that you are worth people's time (sounds simple, eh?), you'll begin to demand more from people. I don't mean that you should have your friends show their dedication to you by bringing you coffee in bed or other stupid things, but you're probably not going to experience the joy of healthy relationships until you acknowledge that you should be as much of a priority in someone else's life as you make them in yours. As cliche as it is, you're a unique individual who brings your own set of skills, quirks, traits, etc. You deserve to be appreciated. "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." *I'd like to follow this point up by stressing the importance of not giving up on relationships quickly. If you feel that you're not ranking where you should be in someone's life, tell them. Have a discussion (not a shouting match or fit of tears). If you talk about what's bothering you, set an expectation of how things should be, and nothing changes, then you need to start re-evaluating the relationship. Every relationship will have compromise--there's gotta be some give and take--but don't settle for being a doormat. No one deserves to be walked over, taken advantage of, or ignored.
Stay positive. This sounds easy enough, but every day life has a way of beating us down and numbing us. For most people, the majority of the news we hear in a typical day is negative. As my dad always says, PMA: Positive Mental Attitude. Stay classy friends.
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"Dancer, party of one." Yeah that's right. I got bored and spent 3 hours having a dance party and taking ugly photos of myself. Well, let's be realistic here- I think you'd be hard pressed to find a picture of me that could be classified as 'ugly', but I'll let you decide for yourself. If I receive no feedback, I'm automatically assuming people are too jealous to even say anything. I've been away for a while, but luckily I haven't gone forever. I had a scare today though since I got in an accident and totaled my car, so let's take a minute to realize how fragile life is. The seemingly solid line between life and death can disappear in the blink of an eye.
Let me paint you a picture: It's 7:30 AM and I've been driving for 30 minutes. I've made it halfway to work with no icy issues when I switch onto another highway. I'm only on this highway for a few miles, but this is unfortunately in a city which refuses to salt this highway for budgetary reasons. Pretty dumb, eh? Of all things to cut...Anyways, I was on this highway and I tried to slow down to get off at my exit. From the second I hit my brakes my car started sliding. I checked the left lane and switched when I saw it was clear. Unfortunately I hit a patch of ice when I was straightening out my wheel and I slid into the lane next to me, perpendicular to another car. This car bumped the back of my car, sending me careening into the car in front of us. Hitting this car send me spinning more into a ditch. This all happened in what felt like 10 minutes but was most likely around 60 seconds. I had been talking to my friend on the phone and she said there was about a 3 second gap between me saying "Oh crap" and me screaming bloody murder. The blink of an eye. That's all it takes. I encourage you to remember that. I realize that it's really difficult to live each day like it's your last-or your loved one's last, or that it would be really awkward to always tell people how you feel about them (hopefully good things), but try. My friend called back earlier and said, "Kate, I didn't know what to do. I heard you say 'Oh crap', then 3 seconds of silence, and then I just heard screaming. When you picked the phone back up I didn't know what to say. I wanted to shout 'I love you!' before you hung up, but I thought that would be weird." I told her that if she said that to me, I probably wouldn't have known what to say because I was in shock, but the more I think about it now, the bigger smile I get. A moment's worth of awkwardness is worth letting someone know how much they mean to you. I also want to tell you how important it is to remain calm, laid back, and remember what's important in life. Again, easier said than done, but after my dad picked me up and saw my car he clapped me on the shoulder and said, "Crap happens. I'm glad you're okay." When he looked at me, tears in my eyes, I said, "But my car isn't. I don't have a car anymore." He said very simply, "You can replace a car but you can't replace people. It'll be okay." And that was it. A simple reminder that people are above all the most important things in our lives. Those are my words of wisdom for the day. Carpe diem! Congratulations, you have survived the end of the world...again! WOO HOO!
I hope you're celebrating. Or maybe you're shopping because you didn't want to spend potentially your last days looking for fun things you might not make it to enjoy. Or maybe you're asleep because all this surviving is exhausting. That's what my mom's doing. Or maybe you're working because you got behind because you didn't think it'd matter in The End. Or maybe you're not doing anything special because you had no idea that today could have been your last. Whatever you're doing, it better be fun. And safe. On a serious note, I'd like to take a second to commemorate the 28 victims of the Sandy Hook Elementary shooting. Yes, 28. Most news reports are showcasing the 26 deaths but have been leaving out the shooter and his mother. It's incredibly easy to dehumanize and demonize these two people, to think of their deaths as deserved or insignificant. I, however, would like to ask you not to forget these two people. I'm not asking you to like them, but I'm pleading that you respect the reverence of life--all life. On a day like today it's easy to think about death and the end of the world and laugh- and that's okay. What would life be without laughter? Pure misery would be my guess. But tomorrow is never guaranteed for any of us. To end this on a lighter note, I hope everyone is able to go out and celebrate life. Enjoy the little things, be thankful for the big. Thank God for giving you today. Guess who's finally a working woman? Not the 'lady of the night' type of working woman, but a working woman with an 8 to 5 full time office job in a reputable firm.
You're wrong. It's ME! In this day in age, it's easy to lose sight of what you believe in. We live in a world full of temptations, pressures, adversities, and moral ambiguity.
How do we stay true to ourselves in the face of all these challenges? My dad taught me a very important lesson regarding this matter. His premise was the charge of emotions. You can't make good decisions when emotions are involved. Unfortunately, this is a hard thing to turn off. It may help to make pro/con lists, give yourself time to calm down, and avoid rash decisions. I find that the longer I take to think about things, the more objective I'm able to become...sometimes. My cousin was also just talking about how difficult it is to stay on the straight and narrow these days. There are so many bad things in the world that sometimes it's hard to make the right decision. But he added that he feels at peace when he hangs out with my grandparents. 'That's all it takes. All I have to do is walk into their house and everything feels right. It's easy to lose sight of things, but when I see them and see how they live their lives and talk to them, it all becomes clear. It's like hitting a reset button.' It's important to find these people. To find people who will give you the courage, through either their words or actions, to do the right thing. To refocus your sights. To challenge you. To tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. One of my best friends has demonstrated time and again that it's worth it to endure hurtful words and hurtful people if at the end of the day you can tell yourself, "I didn't give in. I didn't fold. I stood strong. And if I had the chance to do it all over again, I'd do it the same way." Victory is being able to stand, battered, but not broken. Hurt, but not ashamed. And to continue to battle through this thing called life, we must surround ourselves with people who will build us up. Who we consider our friends speaks volumes of who we are. I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, but these aren't to dwell on; they're to learn from. Through being bullied, I've learned to stand up for myself and for others. From sadness, I've learned to laugh. Through teasing others, I've learned regret. From opposition and criticism, I've learned resilience. And from experience, I've learned optimism. Optimism and the ability to make the right decision and say, "Everything will turn out all right" is perhaps one of our greatest strengths. Side note: Today is my bestie's birthday!! Decisions, decisions. How do we make them? We hear all sorts of suggestions from people on how to make decisions, when to make them, and which one to make. How do they know? How does anyone know? If you're plagued with indecisiveness like me, you've probably struggled with all of these things. You've probably also heard people say: "Follow your heart", "Go with your gut", "Make a Pro/Con list", or "Pray about it." Now, none of these statements are wrong, but what do you do when you do all these and they come up with conflicting answers?
Step 1: Pray some more. Step 2: Figure out your priorities. When your heart, brain, and gut all disagree, sit them down like children and hash it out one point at a time. Now, this vague rambling has specifically to do with me choosing a job. Do I take a job in the awesome city of Boston? Do I take the job where I'll make $35,000 more/year..in Boston? Or do I stay at home with family and friends because I've been away for 6 years? Do I stay in Ohio where I can get my German Shepherd puppy? Do I rent an awesome apt. in Boston? Or do I invest in cheap, country real estate in Ohio? What to do, what to do? I've finally made my decision. I was all set on moving to Boston, enjoying awesomeness, buying a small dog I can bring with me on the subway, doing therapy, and making tons of money..this was my decision until I realized how much I valued staying near family and friends. Fare thee well moolah, hello corn fields! Do you think Carly Rae Jepsen would leave my voicemail message?
"Hey, I just missed you, You've reached Katy, So leave your number, I'll call you maybe." Just a thought. Putting a contact in your eye inside out is like inserting a razor blade in your eye.
Watching me walk in heels is like watching a newborn horse try to stand for the first time. Singing a song you really like but don't know very well is like creating a new language not even you can understand. Walking into the wind is like starring in your very own Herbal Essences commercial. Hitting your hip on a corner is like being shot. Headaches lasting hours is like having an alien trying to hatch out of your skull. Unwrapping Babybel cheese is like discovering golden coins from a sunken pirate treasure. Today is my birthday. My mother gave me a crown and a balloon and told me I was a Princess. I've been waiting 24 years to hear those words. Finally, my life is complete.
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